Friday, July 07, 2006

I, me and myself

This was a usual weekend evening in my office. As a boss, I usually kick a few rebukes on my junior pals; order them to plan new stories for the coming week and think of more innovation because television viewers have now become road smart. They always hunt for a change. Thus we need to fulfill their demands, moreover to counter with our competing television channels. My files were ready. I had signed the pending bills. The post production of the show was going smooth.

My colleagues were attentive, though I am well aware that they possess much show off tendencies; listens to me all the rubbish I chat and does what they feel, always sincerely follow up the upcoming projects wholeheartedly. The ‘I’ of my personality has always been one of the centres of attraction for my colleagues. They listen to me while I share my experiences as a television journalist, and still they are relieved that I have not been one of the typical bosses who should be strict, don’t laugh, don’t joke, don’t walk much in the corridors and don’t ‘eat alone’. Some of them even offer me to watch romantic movies in my company and I don’t bother projecting myself the carefree cute guy image that, as I remember, I was having decades ago.

I was busy in looking into the files to search loopholes in the recently finished projects---particularly to ward off my anger, few minutes ago I had been rebuked by my own boss, sincerely to compensate my anger. One of my female colleagues, Pallavi came to me and requested of, projected herself a very cold impression on the face, that she usually didn’t had earlier--- bhai I want to have a few minutes one on one with you. Yeah sure, why not, I replied. Tell me frankly what your problem is. I replied her instantly while peeping into her face continuously.

I respect you as an elder brother but I hate you as a professional. I have learnt from working under your supervision how nepotism, regionalism and religious fervor work under your nose. You still need to learn the ethics of “being a boss”. You support those who buttress you. It is really unfortunate that I spoiled my career here. I am unable to bear this humiliation and wish to resign from your project. When should I leave, please suggest me? You can go right now I suggested her. Anything else you wish to ask. Perhaps it would be our final talk before your departure. Any other complains. No sir. I can’t gather courage to work under you because I am more talented than my other colleagues. The technical team of the project has certified it on several go.

Our other colleagues, to whom according to her I support, don’t know the ethics of media. But I felt it more strange as to whom she was blaming were her class fellows and one of them had requested me hundreds of times to let her in, in my team as one of the participating colleagues to learn media. She fathomed; are you not looking into the affairs. You still support their work; who are not certified as competent. Furthermore, you are too young to work as a boss. I am not a novice. Not less than you. Neither in age nor in talent should my competency be ignored. Am I lagging behind to you? I usually took all pains to research, direct and edit the programmes that you never ever do and, as a boss, without doing anything, merely certify the final software. How can you claim of doing quality check if you are practically immature and advocate injustice? You are wasting your days by doing nothing and killing our time by calling us for repeated meetings. Besides this she also conveyed to me that you are a lecher.

You are interfering in my personal relationships. This is absolutely wrong and you, as a boss, should learn to work in the team atmosphere. For a moment, I was shocked. I had lots of abuses to guffaw on her face. I could even kick her out for such nonsense talk. But I could not utter a single line except telling her to resign at that moment itself. She should leave and should not show me her face, as I was not interested to see her again. While she walked out of my room, my mind flashbacked to the very first day she joined me. She was a newcomer, was suffering from a chronic disease. I remembered that she was not fit for the assignment I had given to her. She did several mistakes that at times became bone of contention between me and my boss. Boss even intimidated me of showing nepotism towards my junior colleagues including Pallavi and my boss repeatedly threatened me that I could even loose my job by doing this.

I have still not forgotten that the mistakes Pallavi did land me into catch22situations on several occasions. But I covered them all thinking that such mistakes would help my juniors to grow mature. They would not do any mistake as a professional; at least when they would reach up to my position. Once Pallavi was told by her relatives, with whom she was residing, to vacate their house and have her own accommodation anywhere as they could not adjust her timings with a media person’s odd working schedule, I recalled, that always disturbed them. She came to me for help in solving this problem. I instantly gave her a clue to sort out from this crisis.

Why don’t you accept me as brother? My home is waiting to have a glimpse of a guest like you whose bond as a sister would bring pleasant atmosphere in my hyper tensed life, I requested. She accepted my proposal. She learnt the ethics of media under my supervision. But she is much mature now and understood the ups and downs of life. She has got good friends in the media circle. Her creativity has grown up to the level of excellence. I wished her good luck while we parted our ways. And finally I too learnt much from her. How a media person should portray one’s persona. How one boss should treat with his juniors? I also learnt that no personal relationships should be encouraged in professionalism.

More importantly I am happy that now onwards I would have additional saving of rupees one every year as I would not wear Rakhi this time for that I used to pay Pallavi a one rupee coin.

No comments: